Great Murphy

Normally I wouldn't bother to post something here, which means an extra-terrestrial event occured today. Before I continue, I must clarify that all thoughts and words are portrayed by ME on MYself, thus no charges are liable to ME.

So it begins, I was going to enjoy and prepare myself for my first driving test, not a difficult thing to do by the way. On the last second I was told my unit would be having a mass therapy session at Jurong Camp, ok I thought. Who knows this is the start of the unfortunate events.

The session dragged on for hours, survived through yawnings and cursings. It went on. Which leaves me urgent for my test. I darted out of the gate, first, unusual for someone of my laziness. Tried to hail a cab which never came. Deep in my hearts I thought, well, wait then, how hard can the test be.

With confidence I missed part of my warm-up, panting and still cursing. I started my round, and it actually went well. I meditated in the mood room, where everyone retires themselves for the actual happening.

The round started, perfect all the way out to the Choa Chu Kang region where I was still concentrating hard to keep mistake free. But I guess all the situations listed above took their toll on my attention.

An idiot in a black van swerved out of the junction and without any remorse for my plates, he darted across me with speed, leaving behind a tester with his foot on the brake and looking at me, granting his own way of compassion for me by ticking on the circle, its all over.

To the Army, please, follow whichever timing is given, don't give false impression.
To the Black Van driver, I will personally thrash your door and roast your van while you're inside.
To God, I have given you chances for the past 20 years, whatever things you may compensate(quite impossible and unlikely) or you choose to continue your sadism and ridicule, I swear upon myself(no point since you're the one I'm going after) that I will roast you alive too.